tea,plants and eve... its all there
noo! my tea glass is empty :(
What a day... i could tell you all about it, but i don't feel to.
I hope someone will get irritated about my incorrect English, or else ill just irritate my self :D
So whats new?... nothing as usual :)
Today i noticed my plans seems to feel healthy and a lot of new stuff are growing ^^ I think the Ivy s are happy about not being outside anymore, a little too cold now. Ive always had a special bond with plants climbing,sticking or defending them self. Like cactus and ivy :D
I'm freaking tired of my room, i should do something about it, especially when i actually have the time, not like i'm doing something creative while being home.
A lot of things surprise me though my journey in life :) but lately some things have surprised me more then others: ^^
Not addicted to Eve... yet
well... ehm... thats it i guess
I'll try to fill in some stuff here during the day... but as i have a quite good ability to forget things like this its not sure i actually will come back today.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Sunday, December 3, 2006
Instead Of Period White Discharge
Sunday thoughts
Dreamhack was nice :) i really don't know if i will attend next year, time will tell. I had a nice time and a lot of my friends seemed to have a nice time too :D Had visit from a couple of friends that didn't bring computers, which was nice :D crashed at my place about 6 in the morning, slept until about 18:00. Took a nice looong shower, and now i'm back in the game :D
Some thoughts rushing through my head this evening have been a lot about loneliness, but those feelings seems to attack me after every lanparty. maybe i should stop doing this, but i feels like its worth it because of all happiness during the event. I really don't want a girlfriend, but i want something more than a friend. I want to have a person who i can watch a movie with and cuddle a little but no actual feelings. Who doesn't need a hug once in a while?
While im stuck with this thoughts about this, old depressive thoughts comes back, hitting me like a freaking tornado. The worst of them actually is about doing military service here in Sweden. ( I'm not sure if this is a good expression for so called Lumpen ) When i was at the drafting (Mönstring) i was told everything was fine, they wanted me to be a radar operator or chef, i was really happy on the way home. But then a couple a month afterward i got a letter saying i was not good enough (or i felt like thats was what they actually wanted to write)
Soo... I'm not good enough for the military, most people do crazy things to ensure not to be picket out for military duty. I'm not one of them, since i was a little boy i've always been fascinated about the military, maybe not the killing side. But it had been my freaking dream to become a military. Sure i could think of other things to do with my life, but i really wanted to do the military service. As it is now i'm searching for a way to prove to the military i'm good enough. I was told by a friend there may be a possibility, but when reading on their homepage i noticed i wont be able to do it. They can offer med working in the so called "Hemvärnet" to that i say, thanks but no thanks... I'm not going to work with fat wannabe military men.
But hey, everybody isn't equal worth... who fucking believes that?
Now this is my sunday thoughts, i have a fussy memory of every sunday beeing like this, but lanparties always makes it worse... fuck i need to get laid and have a splif... then everything gonna be alright, for a moment.
Dreamhack was nice :) i really don't know if i will attend next year, time will tell. I had a nice time and a lot of my friends seemed to have a nice time too :D Had visit from a couple of friends that didn't bring computers, which was nice :D crashed at my place about 6 in the morning, slept until about 18:00. Took a nice looong shower, and now i'm back in the game :D
Some thoughts rushing through my head this evening have been a lot about loneliness, but those feelings seems to attack me after every lanparty. maybe i should stop doing this, but i feels like its worth it because of all happiness during the event. I really don't want a girlfriend, but i want something more than a friend. I want to have a person who i can watch a movie with and cuddle a little but no actual feelings. Who doesn't need a hug once in a while?
While im stuck with this thoughts about this, old depressive thoughts comes back, hitting me like a freaking tornado. The worst of them actually is about doing military service here in Sweden. ( I'm not sure if this is a good expression for so called Lumpen ) When i was at the drafting (Mönstring) i was told everything was fine, they wanted me to be a radar operator or chef, i was really happy on the way home. But then a couple a month afterward i got a letter saying i was not good enough (or i felt like thats was what they actually wanted to write)
Soo... I'm not good enough for the military, most people do crazy things to ensure not to be picket out for military duty. I'm not one of them, since i was a little boy i've always been fascinated about the military, maybe not the killing side. But it had been my freaking dream to become a military. Sure i could think of other things to do with my life, but i really wanted to do the military service. As it is now i'm searching for a way to prove to the military i'm good enough. I was told by a friend there may be a possibility, but when reading on their homepage i noticed i wont be able to do it. They can offer med working in the so called "Hemvärnet" to that i say, thanks but no thanks... I'm not going to work with fat wannabe military men.
But hey, everybody isn't equal worth... who fucking believes that?
Now this is my sunday thoughts, i have a fussy memory of every sunday beeing like this, but lanparties always makes it worse... fuck i need to get laid and have a splif... then everything gonna be alright, for a moment.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Should I Wear Corset After Myomectomy
pre-DH writings...
Ahh this is the day... the day when i should be getting my glasses and fix all things before Dreamhack winter 2006, but what am i doing?
At first it could seem like i'm fixing my computer for this big event, but this is just an illusion. An illusion created so ppl think i am doin' something creative.
What i actually do is SLACKING MY ASS OF! yeah thats right :D im sitting here, drinking coffee and playing dota with some friends.
This will certainly result in a lot of freaking work later on, trying to retrieve my glasses in a non-comfortable time. But what you gonna do? slacking is the most important thing there is :) not working your ass of and still get fucked up in the end?
i'll try not to forget to update this shit more often, but i often do.
readin' my previous posts i realize i need to write some more on my little history... in swedish though. but right nog i lack inspiration... maybe i'll get some at dreamhack. :D
Ahh this is the day... the day when i should be getting my glasses and fix all things before Dreamhack winter 2006, but what am i doing?
At first it could seem like i'm fixing my computer for this big event, but this is just an illusion. An illusion created so ppl think i am doin' something creative.
What i actually do is SLACKING MY ASS OF! yeah thats right :D im sitting here, drinking coffee and playing dota with some friends.
This will certainly result in a lot of freaking work later on, trying to retrieve my glasses in a non-comfortable time. But what you gonna do? slacking is the most important thing there is :) not working your ass of and still get fucked up in the end?
i'll try not to forget to update this shit more often, but i often do.
readin' my previous posts i realize i need to write some more on my little history... in swedish though. but right nog i lack inspiration... maybe i'll get some at dreamhack. :D
Friday, November 17, 2006
Slipper Gripper Socks
this is your daily wakeup call, please leave a message after the beep...
Ahhh wake up to some mobilephone ringing right there... its horrible... but what you gonna do...
Today i go to my old school to visit some friends of mine :) Hang out in the (in)famous Datasekten (trans. Computer sect).
This is a big day for all of them, and even me :D Because today the first BP (BerzanParty) in a long time begin :)
Im quite sure it may not be as cool and populated as the prior ones but well you gotta start somewhere.
Last night i started what i think will be my new addiction, EVE... this game was alot cooler than i first thougt :)
Have at least one friend playing EVE actively, and a couple of friends that are thinking about start playing :) This could result in an heavy addiction if im not carefull.
Ahhh wake up to some mobilephone ringing right there... its horrible... but what you gonna do...
Today i go to my old school to visit some friends of mine :) Hang out in the (in)famous Datasekten (trans. Computer sect).
This is a big day for all of them, and even me :D Because today the first BP (BerzanParty) in a long time begin :)
Im quite sure it may not be as cool and populated as the prior ones but well you gotta start somewhere.
Last night i started what i think will be my new addiction, EVE... this game was alot cooler than i first thougt :)
Have at least one friend playing EVE actively, and a couple of friends that are thinking about start playing :) This could result in an heavy addiction if im not carefull.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Socolor Wella Comprison Chart
1.
Tänk that the captain at this point do not really know what's happening around the world, twice the sunrise and the Lost Moon concern him not at his back and he could not care less.
- Captain! Captain! We have a problem on the starboard side, the ...
- Captain, we have identified them as spaningsfregatter. Probably is the advance of transport ships to secure the area. We can crush them if we want, but they'll probably catch warn the other ships and we will get it hot on the ears.
- Have frigates secured the next sector Smith?
- We get shot at by one ... we have lost all power from the reactor ... I think I glimpsed a ship from the * radio broadcast interrupted *
- Damn it to happen just today, it could well every imorn instead? I say when ... always the same bad luck.
- Who the hell ordered the fire?
Have a little problem of how to solve that there are two captains named captain, suggestions would be really nice. Then I realize that most who will read this have the url n by me on msn, so you can get more complicated, where if you do not pallets to write a comment ^ ^
Tänk that the captain at this point do not really know what's happening around the world, twice the sunrise and the Lost Moon concern him not at his back and he could not care less.
- Captain! Captain! We have a problem on the starboard side, the ...
- Va Falls! What do ships boy Larsson to disturb me during my dinner?
- Captain, you have to come up to the bridge, we have discovered a group of frigates, they seem not discovered us yet.
- Larsson I really hope for your sake that you got here as fast as possible, it has been seen for some other ship? I want to see all men on deck within 10 minutes, ready for hunting.
- Of course, Captain!
Captain looked around the room and realized that all the food is spilled over the brief outbursts of anger that had befallen him. He pondered a bit fast if he should clean up but decided to let someone ship's boy to take care of the problem. He ran up quickly to the bridge where Larson and the other boys were waiting ships; damn amateurs who can not even give a little news without scaring the life out of one he thought MenDan he swallowed down two cups of coffee.
- Captain, we have identified them as spaningsfregatter. Probably is the advance of transport ships to secure the area. We can crush them if we want, but they'll probably catch warn the other ships and we will get it hot on the ears.
- It sounds interesting. We will remain here and wait until the other ships show up, maybe they are carrying something we might have use for. You can return to your regular items so long.
- You heard what the captain said! Back to your records NOW!
- You also Larsson ...
- Of course, Captain.
A not so long distance away ...
- Have frigates secured the next sector Smith?
- They are ready in 10min, so far no threat detected.
- Well, it may not be any nasty surprises, I'm really not in the mood for some pirates or the like.
After about 20 minutes of radio silence you hear a distress call from one of the frigates.
- We get shot at by one ... we have lost all power from the reactor ... I think I glimpsed a ship from the * radio broadcast interrupted *
- SMITH! I want to know what the hell is going on over there, can we get the picture? what was the last data we got?
- SMITH! TO HELL I came here NOW!
- Captain, here are the pictures that we can get, it seems that our dektektorer disturbed out of reach magnetic field.
images are largely very blurry and what can be seen are part of the spalled frigate floating around ...
- Damn it to happen just today, it could well every imorn instead? I say when ... always the same bad luck.
- Well that's a bit worrying, I'll call the battleships?
- Hmm, I do not really know, perhaps it is unnecessary, we've still some ships here already. If luck is with us, which I doubt we'll do the work themselves.
- We have no idea what it is we stand against the Captain.
- No, it's true Smith, but sometimes you take a chance. Then I do not want to involve more than already is involved.
Chaos is a fact, and Anderson is hurt on the deck.
- Who the hell ordered the fire?
- I do not know Captain, I was shocked ...
- Hit with a paramedic now, Anderson is injured. Larsson, look who triggered the firing. Now we have guaranteed a problem if we did not have time to pick them before they alerted the others. Though they are learning after all suspect something. FAN FAN FAN!
beads of sweat crawling down his forehead and he realizes that he just arrived in a much inferior, this must be traded quickly. Should they try to escape and hope that the frigates are not cleared their position or will they stay and try to lie in ambush.
Have a little problem of how to solve that there are two captains named captain, suggestions would be really nice. Then I realize that most who will read this have the url n by me on msn, so you can get more complicated, where if you do not pallets to write a comment ^ ^
Monday, October 30, 2006
Save The Date Ideas Sayings
workworkwork
Today to woke up in my friends guest room of heaven tapping at the door. I Told sky i was awake and he Answered his was just ready to make breakfast (a nice smooth Spliff @ balcony). As solid as I Could dressed in my self and went out and got my breakfast.
About Twelve a 'clock in went home by bus. At home in had 2 hours to eat,shower and relax before work. Sadly i was so confused and stressed i missed by one hour... no big deal some may say but i realized when i was on the train to work i was one hour early : he called :( He said he would pick me up at the station down town and so he did... 45 minutes in the freaking rain to late... but hey.. cant change the past :P
The evening (since 23 up to now... ) have been a little sad, i've been missing to have a person just to care about, to hold your arm around when you go to bed. That plus i talked via msn with my ex-girlfriend and at the same time listening to a quite depressive track by Aphex Twin nearly made me cry :P (and i don't cry easily...accually i don't) But one of my newly obtained friends gave me a electronic hug and told me to change music. Afterward i felt much better :D
And now to something totally different :D
With this newly cleaned computer i feel hungry for series... to bad ive already seen all episodes of all the series i follow... :( now when i dont have any games installed at all i really notice how i waste a lot of time just playing meaningless games... too bad. I want to be able to concentrate on what i accually want to do when i sit here... i want to learn my self to program. In one of my dreams of the far distant future i might be so good at programming that i can make a living :) That would be perfect. I would travel around the world and still be able to work as if i were home :D can it be better? :)
Today to woke up in my friends guest room of heaven tapping at the door. I Told sky i was awake and he Answered his was just ready to make breakfast (a nice smooth Spliff @ balcony). As solid as I Could dressed in my self and went out and got my breakfast.
About Twelve a 'clock in went home by bus. At home in had 2 hours to eat,shower and relax before work. Sadly i was so confused and stressed i missed by one hour... no big deal some may say but i realized when i was on the train to work i was one hour early : he called :( He said he would pick me up at the station down town and so he did... 45 minutes in the freaking rain to late... but hey.. cant change the past :P
The evening (since 23 up to now... ) have been a little sad, i've been missing to have a person just to care about, to hold your arm around when you go to bed. That plus i talked via msn with my ex-girlfriend and at the same time listening to a quite depressive track by Aphex Twin nearly made me cry :P (and i don't cry easily...accually i don't) But one of my newly obtained friends gave me a electronic hug and told me to change music. Afterward i felt much better :D
And now to something totally different :D
With this newly cleaned computer i feel hungry for series... to bad ive already seen all episodes of all the series i follow... :( now when i dont have any games installed at all i really notice how i waste a lot of time just playing meaningless games... too bad. I want to be able to concentrate on what i accually want to do when i sit here... i want to learn my self to program. In one of my dreams of the far distant future i might be so good at programming that i can make a living :) That would be perfect. I would travel around the world and still be able to work as if i were home :D can it be better? :)
Friday, October 27, 2006
Best Red Velvet Cake Toronto
Job or something...
This week i've been working, at a real job. First time in my life i actually feel that i am accomplishing something :)
Sure its not one of those neat "pay-without-work" jobs but hey its an income.
Fixed some kind of client so write this stuff, quite sure it will fuck up something but ill give it a try :)
I am not used to blogging in any kind of way but i want to "learn". I feel i need to write down my thoughts once a while... else they fly away and all my nice ideas are lost. :(
It disturbs me that i cant really get along with learning how to design the page... and even if I knew i surely fuck it up anyway. I completely suck at all kinds of things thats has to do with creating stuff :(
This grey desing makes me sick :( its freakin ugly...
This week i've been working, at a real job. First time in my life i actually feel that i am accomplishing something :)
Sure its not one of those neat "pay-without-work" jobs but hey its an income.
Fixed some kind of client so write this stuff, quite sure it will fuck up something but ill give it a try :)
I am not used to blogging in any kind of way but i want to "learn". I feel i need to write down my thoughts once a while... else they fly away and all my nice ideas are lost. :(
It disturbs me that i cant really get along with learning how to design the page... and even if I knew i surely fuck it up anyway. I completely suck at all kinds of things thats has to do with creating stuff :(
This grey desing makes me sick :( its freakin ugly...
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